Home / Two Little Piggies by Miki Nava / The f*cking pacifier!

The f*cking pacifier!

      Arrow Arrow Slider I don’t even know how to start on this topic. I HATE the pacifier, or binki, or paci, or dummy, or chucho (as they call it here in Italy) or whatever you want to call it. I HATE IT SO MUCH. And yet I cannot live without it at this moment. And I hate that I need to keep buying this disgusting, annoying thing, until I’m ready to get Soraya off of it. Before having kids I said I would never give my baby a pacifier. Then when I was pregnant with Gaja I said perhaps I would use a pacifier, but maximum for a year. Nothing more. And now with Soraya, she’s 2.5yrs old and I keep delaying it week by week, always having some sort of well thought out excuse, as to why I need to delay it for just one more week… Also for Gaja I only got rid of it when she was 2.5 yrs by the way… But here in Italy no one looks at you funny, when a 2 year old is sucking on a pacifier, because the kids here seem to be chewing on those things up to a ridiculous age. When I went to Japan with Gaja when she was 1yrs old, I didn’t see a single other baby with a pacifier in their mouth. Not a single baby. When I go to the States with Soraya still having a pacifier at 2yrs old, they looked at me funny and say I should have gotten rid of that by the time she turned 1 cause her teeth will be damaged. I’m not saying what’s wrong or what’s right. The bottom line is that I hate that f*cking pacifier! You basically become a slave to this thing. A slave. I will panic more if I left home without a pacifier, then leaving home without my phone, or my wallet or diapers! Do you know how much a child can scream for a plastic thing like that!? You have no idea. I swear Soraya loves her pacifier more then she loves me. She screams for it constantly. Like life is no good without a pacifier. Whenever I get into a car, I make sure I have a few spare pacifiers right by me, so if she drops it in the back seat I can quickly grab one and hand it to her, without taking my eyes off the road, because god forbid she drop that pacifier and I don’t replace it instantly, she will scream and kick so much i won’t even be able to concentrate on driving! Richard once travelled alone with Soraya from Italy to South Africa, I made sure he packed 6 pacifiers. He lost every single one on his trip to SA. How do you lose 6 pacifiers in one trip!? I don’t know, but he managed to do it. When he landed he didn’t even say hi, how are you, what’s been going on, he just screamed saying ‘do you have a chucho!!!????’ Every time I give Soraya a pacifier in public I feel like I have to make an excuse… ‘She usually only has it when she sleeps, but she didn’t sleep well last night……’, ‘she’s really not feeling well….’, ‘I think she must be teething….’……. As if mothers don’t feel guilty about enough things, now we must also feel guilty about a pacifier (I totally blame the person who ever invented it!). When Gaja turned 2.5 yrs I decided to get rid of the thing. Gaja only had hers at night time, but she would need TWO. One to suck on, and one to rub her cheek with…. But at least she only had it when she slept. And it was still hard getting rid of it. I told her we had to wrap it up, put it in her suitcase and take it to her doctor, so that the doctor could give it to the smaller babies who needed it. She happily went along with it and we dropped it off at her doctor… she cried for a few nights but that was it. ….although I have to say that a year after she got rid of it, we were in South Africa and my parents maid was babysitting the girls one night. I forgot to tell her that Gaja doesn’t use a pacifier anymore, so she gave one to Gaja. When I cam home I went to check on the girls and I saw Gaja happily sucking on the pacifier in her sleep! I quickly got rid of that thing again and Gaja acted like, No, of course she wasn’t using a chucho, are you crazy!? I’m terrified with taking away Soraya’s pacifier. She already sleeps so badly and keeps me awake at night. She is going through terrible two’s with flying colours, and screams and yells all day long for no reason at all. If I take away the pacifier now, is she going to sleep even less and scream even more!? I can’t imagine getting less sleep then I do now. But then again, the amount of times she screams in the night because the pacifier fell out of her mouth and she can’t find it…. Maybe there are benefits to getting rid of it after all… Gaja keeps saying to me now, ‘mama, Soraya needs to take her chucho’s to the doctor so the doctor can give it to the smaller babies, because Soraya is not a baby anymore! Yes, I think the time has come, I cannot make any more excuses to delay it… Wish me luck all, Soraya is going to put up one big fight, that’s for sure! What is your recommend method of taking away the pacifier? Please share, I need to do this as painless as possible! ;)

4 comments

Mar 27, 2017 • Posted by Miki Nava

Thank you, wish me luck, Soraya is going to be a tough one!!

Mar 27, 2017 • Posted by Miki Nava

I know, they act so differently at daycare! Same with Soraya! I have set my date… 27 September it will be good-bye chucho day, wish me luck!

Mar 27, 2017 • Posted by Kathryn Noah

We are dealing with the same thing! Blakely will be 2 in September and I promised myself that we wouldn’t use it past 2 years old. Blakely doesn’t use it at daycare, but as soon as she sees me she asks for it. From that point on she has it in her mouth until we arrive at daycare the next morning when she willingly surrenders her “me me”. I know if she can all day without it, she doesn’t need it. At the same time, you would think she’s dying if she loses in the car on the way home. Ironically, I thought the pacifiers with the animals “wubbanubs” were adorable when I first saw them and bought 6! What was I thinking?? You are not alone in your frustrations and concerns. I haven’t decided quite yet what my plan is to eliminate the dreaded “me me”!

Mar 27, 2017 • Posted by Maily

Fortunately for me, mine didn’t like the binky and wouldn’t take it when I would try to give it to them. The only advice and suggestion I can offer is be persistent and patient with yourself. It will be hard and stay strong, remember all the tantrums that Soraya is going to throw is because the chucho is her calming tool and a habit for her. Don’t feel guilty or feel like you’re being a bad mom when she’s screaming, as long as she’s not hurting herself, she will is fine, just angry.

The only suggestion I can give to help is what I call the “bait and switch” it worked with Hayley and her nasty doll she couldn’t live without. (which at the age of 14, we finally told her Lala was not on vacation in Vermont hahaha) We once thought Hayley left her in the Tampa airport, I was calling the airport trying to get people to search for her. Needless to say, Hayley cried hysterically the whole flight home. Turns out she was on my parents kitchen floor, my mom sent her overnight fedex, then we had a snow storm, we didn’t get her for 3 days. Hayley cried and didn’t sleep, hardest time of my life. She now has Gingie, fortunately at the age 18, Gingie is sitting on her bed waiting for Hayley to come home from school in Nov. hahaha
1. Buy 2 sets of identical chuchos (at least 6 of each, Soraya is a smart kid)
2. Dip one set in something tart but harmless or a flavor she won’t like (lemon or limes etc)
3. Always keep the chucho not dipped on you, make sure it’s the same color as the one she’s going to put in her mouth
4. When she wants a chucho give her the one she won’t like the taste of. Then act surprised when she says it doesn’t taste right. Switch the chucho for you to taste, even Gaja to taste…she’ll tell Soraya that it doesn’t taste bad.
5. Offer for her to wear it around her neck, in case she wants it…make sure it’s the one she won’t like.
Weening Hayley off of Lala involved my whole family, they would have to take pictures and write letters, proving Lala was on vacation for years, and when we would go to Vermont or NYC, Lala would coincidentally be on her way back to NJ for a rest. You can do it Miki, just stay strong and keep telling yourself “I m doing the right thing and I will get through this” Good luck! <3

Leave a comment